


Noginitys

by Punk_mit_Keks



Category: South Park
Genre: Crack, Cunnilingus, Other, POV Change, PWP, This is crack, Vaginas are growing on Craig's body so does this count as intersex? Idk, You Have Been Warned, based of episode 06-05, bottom!Craig, handjob, top!Tweek, you know where vaginas are growing on you when you're a vegetarian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:25:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8531185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punk_mit_Keks/pseuds/Punk_mit_Keks
Summary: Vegetarian Craig lost his job and can’t afford to buy his meds ‘Noginitys’ this month so vaginas are growing everywhere on his body. Tweek decides to have some fun with the situation.(this is based of episode 06-05)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I made Craig to a vegetarian in another ff (a chapter I haven’t uploaded yet) and casually wrote “there’s plenty of good meds against vaginitys by now.” and then my twisted head shot the idea in: make it NSFW!   
> I have sinned! I'm sorry. This started as crack and then developed into something halfway serious. This is so embarrassing, I have no idea why I wrote this. xD°  
> But I’m not a pervert, nope!

“Will you lend me 100$?”

“Dude, I already lent you 100$ last month.”

“Yeah, but I’ll pay you back.”

“And the month before!”

“Come on Token, don’t be a dick.”

“Dude, I know you’re in trouble and all, but this time I can’t. You’re near the 1000$ border and you said you would never want to owe me that much. Why don’t you ask Tweek to help you out? Like, he’s your _boyfriend,_ of course he would lend you money.”

“He wouldn't lend me the money; he would simply _give_ me the money.”

“Then where's the fucking problem?”

“The problem is, that he'd say I don't have to pay him back. I can’t depend on him. I don’t want such things to be uneven between us.”

“You’re an idiot! Just pay him in kind.”

Craig groaned. They spoke through phone so he didn’t see Token grinning, yet he could imagine the image.

“It’s okay Token, thanks for nothing.”

“Anytime, bud.”

***

 

They sat at their couch in their living room, on the television screen played the latest episode of Game of Thrones, when Tweek's arm reached out and gently stroke the bulged pleats of skin that were forming over Craig’s cheek.

“Dude, what’s this?”

Craig hissed by the touch. The folds were way too sensitive and the fingers scraped over them like sandpaper.

“You forgot your pills again?”

In a slow motion Craig pushed the hand out of his face and looked at his boyfriend. Tweek's eye bags were prominent as ever. Craig fumbled on the strings of his chullo and pulled it deeper into his face, the ear-flaps almost covering up the big swollen crack at his skin.

“I can’t afford them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I lost my job last month, already forgotten? And Token won’t lend me some, he said I’m already too much in depth with him.”

“Dude! Why don’t you simply ask me?”

“Because you’d say I don’t need to pay you back.”

“Craig.”

“What?!”

“Of course you don’t need to pay me back, we are boyfriends, remember?”

It wasn’t the first time they argued about money. Tweek basically had a lifetime contract as curator at the art museum while Craig lost his jobs every three month. They lived together for longer than one year by now, yet Craig couldn’t accept to depend on his boyfriend financially. He would feel like a useless housewife.

Honestly, he was a useless housewife. He didn’t really use the free time he had at the moment for job hunting or house cleaning, but in front of either his computer or his game console. Even though he was the one who decided to life as vegetarian, he barely even cooked by himself.

“We said we would split the bills evenly.”

“You’re such a dickhead! Where’s the use in splitting the bills if you can’t pay them. Really, I don’t get you. If it was the other way around you would also give me the money, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course I would!”

“Then why is it a difference if _I_ pay for the both of us? We live together, man.”

“Because!”

Tweek grumbled. Their arguments always ended like this. Either of them just shut down and didn't gave in. After all, Tweek wouldn’t accept Craig’s money as well if it was the other way around. They both were dickheads.

They watched the episode for a while and then Tweek reached out for Craig's cheek a second time.

“It just looks so weird.”

He stroked over the labium and Craig hissed again.

“Can you even show up on a job interview like this?”

Craig averted his gaze and Tweek's finger slid into the crease and rubbed down.

“What are you doing?”

This was weird. It was so fucking weird.

The place was the littlest bit of wet and Tweek's fingers rubbed back and forth and explored the pleats and the skin flaps. He had never touched a woman’s soft parts before; the thought had never even crossed his mind.

This whole thing was odd, vaginas weren’t meant to be placed on cheeks, or on arms, nor on legs. Yet the unfamiliar texture and the amount of skin folded into one place were strangely fascinating. The skin under his fingers was soft and yielding and the wetness increased.

“Tweek, you really shouldn't...”

When he stroked up the second time Craig made that familiar sound. It was probably supposed to be another hiss, yet Tweek knew this sound. He had heard the little suppressed gasp that got stuck inside Craig's throat often enough.

Tweek slid his body on the couch and closed the gap between them. Their thighs touched and Tweek was leaning in on Craig's face so that their eyes met.

“Stop being such a macho, it doesn't matter who pays the bills if it ensures us to be able to stay together.”

He rubbed against that place were the labia parted. The point where the inner pleats started. He tried to recollect his knowledge from biology, somewhere there was the clitoris supposed to be. He heard Craig suppress another noise, so whatever he was doing there mustn’t be that bad.

Tweek leaned into Craig's face to kiss him. To give him something more familiar than the touch of his uncommon body part. And Craig responded quickly, their lips movements practiced and calming.

Then Tweek drew away from his mouth and removed his fingers from Craig’s cunt just to repeat the same motion his fingers did before just with his tongue this time. Craig's sound was a mixture of a suppressed whine and a gasp out of pure surprise. Tweek's curiosity was evoked. Those genitals growing on random places seemed to be fully functioning.

“This is so odd.” Craig grunted. His hand touched Tweek’s arm, but didn’t stop him.

“You can't go to a job interview like this.” Tweek repeated, his mouth kissing Craig's jawline. Then his head came up again so he could look Craig in the eyes, “And then you can't make the money to buy your meds.”

He drew his attention back to that abomination on Craig's cheek. His tongue entered between the labium to lick up again. Tweek had to repress a giggle on his own, because this felt so weird. The skin was even more yielding under his tongue and his spit added to the wetness that was forming. He examined the skins texture on his tongue and at the pleats cusp he drew circles. He searched for that thing that was every straight men’s goal to find, even though he called himself gay.

Craig's breath became shallow and he was squirming inside his seat.

“What are you implying?”

“I’ll buy your stupid meds,” Tweek said, his lips brushing against Craig.

“Tweek!” it was a sound of begging accompanied by a little gasp. Craig's breath was becoming harsh so he wasn't able to suppress the little noises he made anymore.

Tweek felt like he had found a little knob under his tongue. Only the slightest hint of a bump. He traced the contours with his tongue before he licked over it again. The moan that was reaching his ears was godly. He felt Craig's hand grasp his shoulders to steady himself. His breath was erratic by now and one of his legs quivered while Tweek's tongue played at the part of him he shouldn't have.

“You can pay in kind if it bothers you so much.” He breathed against Craig.

“Oh my god, Tweek, what the fuck are you doing?”

Tweek drew back to look at him. “You want me to stop?”

Craig frowned.

“I don't know.”

He looked like in pain, desperate for release. Flustered and horny but also so very, very confused. Tweek wondered if Craig had looked like that during his first time. If his first boyfriend had the luck to see him like that. Tweek had often seen him horny and desperate, but he had never seen him confused at the same time. Like a teenager who was overwhelmed by his first sexual exploration. Who felt dazed from his desire and lust, but was helpless over how to release those, and he would probably come apart once it happens. It was an unexpected expression for someone as stoic as Craig.

It was cute. And it was hot. And it gave Tweek a sense of control so arousing he felt it directly inside his dick.

Tweek bend down to kiss him and Craig opened his mouth instantly. His breath said _more_ and his tongues flicks said he was _thirsty_ and his soft lips spoke nothing but _lust_. The tension inside Craig’s body lessened and Tweek only parted when he had the feeling Craig was relaxed and soothed.

“Does it feel good?”

“I don't know.” Craig's breath was so harsh, and his eyebrows still set into a frown while his eyes were half lidded and needy. Though He lifted his eyebrows and gasped when Tweek let his finger dip into the crease again and circle the spot his mouth had located so easily.

“Does it feel bad?”

“No.”

“Then I can keep going?” Despite the ask Tweek stopped his fingers movements. He needed an answer first.

Craig closed his eyes and swallowed. Tweek listened to his breath and observed his face until Craig bit his under lip and finally nodded his head.

Tweek's mouth found that little hump again and after stroking it with his tongue several times he sucked at it. Craig's instant reaction was a loud “oh god.” His leg was still quivering and his hands clutched hard into Tweek’s hair. It made the blonde hum and his tongue kept playing around. He had a lot of fun himself hearing Craig moan and spasm underneath him. His hand slid under Craig’s shirt and over his belly where it briefly touched another vulva. Though he was aiming for Craig’s nipple to pinch and tease. Craig was messing with Tweek’s hair and when a loud cry escaped him his whole body got tense and shivered.

When Craig’s body relaxed Tweek stopped his mouth’ work to look at his boyfriend. He was still breathless, shock and satisfaction mixed into his gaze and Tweek complied to his eye’s silent beg to kiss him. Though Craig didn’t seem to calm down. He wrapped his arms around Tweek and released their kiss to nestle his head against Tweek’s neck. Tweek embraced him so they could cuddle like this.

“You okay?”

“Yeah” Craig exhaled, slowly collecting his breath. “I just …” he sighed, “I’m still…”

Tweek set upright so he could watch Craig’s expression. He was starting to get worried. Maybe it had been too much after all, seeing as this was some kind of first time.

He placed gentle kisses at Craig’s cheek and jawline and reached with one hand to connect it with Craig’s. Thought, feeling blindly for his boyfriends hand he accidentally touched a bulge in his trousers. Tweek looked down to confirm what his hand had just detected.

“You’re still hard?”

Craig grunted pathetically and turned his head away. His cheeks and ears flushed. This was just as cute as his expression before. A flustered Craig was the most arousing. Tweek wanted to smooch him, though instead he opened his zipper and grabbed into Craig’s boxer to release him. There was no moist in his underwear, so he hadn’t cum yet? No, wait, it was a clitoral orgasm Tweek gave him before. Holy shit.

He started pumping his boyfriend and gave him the most alluring look he was able to offer.

“Craig...”

It was a demand. He wanted to get some payment for his efforts so far. After all Craig was supposed to pay _him_ in kind, and so far Tweek had ignored his painfully strangled erection in favor for pleasing his lover.

Back at his shallow breath and his cheeks still on fire, Craig reached for Tweek’s fly to return the favor. Once his hardness was in Craig’s firm hand he sighed in relieve. His own pumping teasingly slow, eliciting little groans from Craig. He savored the image of Craig’s still flushed face before he bent down for a slow and deep kiss. As much as he would like to just thrust his hips into Craig’s hand, this slow, drawn out love-making was also very hot. And maybe even more rewarding when the buildup was slow and patient and would release into a little death that fully deserved its name.

When their kiss parted Tweek leaned at Craig’s cheek to lick the new discovered place. Though Craig’s groan in response sounded almost painful.

“Not good?”

“Not good.” Craig breathed harshly, arcing his back, “too much.”

“Sorry” Tweek murmured while calming his boyfriend with a row of kisses all over his face. Everywhere. At his eyebrows, at his nose, the corner of his lips, the lid of his eye.

When he heard Craig whimper he wrapped his hand around both of their dicks so they were touching. Creating friction for both of them. His own breath sharp and almost helpless. Craig’s now free hands traveled over his arms. To his neck and through his hair. And when his lover grabbed a fistful of his hair, just the way he liked it a moan vibrated in his throat. He was close.

Tweek’s other hand reached for under Craig’s shirt and the surfaces of his belly. To that vulva he’d found before. It was wet and Tweek’s fingers slid between with ease. Craig’s noises poured like honey in his ears and fueled his lust. His boyfriend was so hot. He caressed Craig’s clit at his belly and Craig locked eyes with him.

This was intense. The look he was giving him. Craig trusted him. His eyes said everything. They wrote novels about the love and connection he felt. The way he devoted himself to Tweek during those moments made him ultimately vulnerable and Tweek’s member pulsated. He was probably some kind of control freak – this look Craig gave him made him almost loose his mind. Every freaking time. And if he came undone he would dissolve into them melding together. Tweek wanted to devour him as much as he wanted to worship the pleasure and moans that were all Craig and also all his. And only his.

Craig looked so goddamn sexy. His eyes begged and his swollen and parted lips looked absolutely lewd. Tweek knew what Craig wanted, oh how much he wanted to just give him this. This little death that connected them into that place called bliss. The closest two sinners like them could get to heaven.

He locked their mouths and devoured him like it was the highest offering he could render for his adored and Craig heard his prayer when his whole body shivered under Tweek’s hands. He swallowed Craig’s moans and they tangled with his own in his lungs until he couldn’t take it any longer and when he felt like bursting he heard his name like a prayer and answered ‘I love you’ before they both dissolved into paradise.

Melding together.


End file.
